To fall

21 February 2016

Maybe I am falling in love. Then it is possible that I will burn in no time.

Sunday night. Tomorrow is a full moon. Magic night. Anything can happen. And anything did happen.

This was the first time this year when I was truly and genuinely happy on Sunday evening. No regrets. No hard feelings. Just a swell sensation, when the evening has ended and what would bring next week. Maybe I am falling in love. Then it is possible that I will burn in no time. Pretty badly. But who cares. No one could care less if they knew what I was feeling right now. That everything is falling into pieces. But I mean it in a good way, when puzzles are falling into their right places and there is no force that could separate them from each other once they fall into the right positions.

Who says it would be all perfect? Who says there would be no doubts? But still, there are no regrets, and that is the thing. Radical honesty has it goods moments, you always know where you stand, what to expect and what to be expected. And now I know, now I see.

It is such a sensation the beginning of something new. Even if the two of them just haven’t fully realise it yet. Everything is possible and it just feels sooo good, that I need to write it down before it pass. May that never happen. But sure it will, who I am to be so naive after so many fails.

However isn’t it wonderful that after so many fails I could still feel that way and fall for someone so intensely? I know I should be worrying right now about thousands things I do not know about him yet. I should not be so excited, because the more I am excited right now, the more it will hurt after it will all fall apart. But I am too young to be that cautious. To be careful to fall for someone that fast. How I wish there was a time to care if the other one is falling for me in the same speed I am falling for him. Who cares, I can not control it so all I can do right now is to fully anticipated how I feel when I am around him. And to cross my fingers that he feels at least the same.

With my luck he does not, so there goes my lesson, but at least I tried. Again. Although this time with another guy. At least it is not the one I tried it with last year and many times. And I tried it hard and I fell pretty hard as well, in the end. Because here is the thing and here is the catch – he did not fall at all.

Many would gave all this bulshit up after that, but I guess (and I am also kinda pleased) that I am too naive to do that. So right now I hope when we fall, we will fall together…

Fingers crossed.

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